As hot-blooded Punjabis, conflict is something we are familiar with in my family. Growing up, I saw my parents deal with upsetting situations & people in two different ways: my dad would react & mostly get angry. My mom would ignore. Yup, these were the only 2 options presented to me. I have tested both of these options on several occasions. Neither seems to do the trick for me. In both cases, you walk away with nothing accomplished. Someone elseâs actions affect you. You get angry, upset, & frustrated and ultimately the issue is still looming. Itâs like the old adage, âgetting angry is like trying to kill your enemy by drinking poison.â You get left with the bitter taste in your mouth.
I tried to find a middle ground which was to resolve. Letâs get everyone around one table, talk about it & come to an amicable solution. Aha! Then thereâs that magical word everyone loves, âclosure.â This may work sometimes but not all the time. Especially when youâre dealing with difficult people. Some people donât want to come to the table. They donât even want to sit in the chair. They just kick it & walk away. Then what do you do?
Finally, overtime I have realised the power of letting go.

Observe the thought, the feeling, the emotion that springs up within you.
Donât try to fight it or ignore it. Let it come. But in the same essence that it comes, let it go. Imagine water bubbling up in a stream. What happens when you try to control the movement of water? Well, youâll probably end up drowning.
Stop trying to control it.
Let it go.
Fill yourself with so much other stuff, that thereâs no room for it to stay & fester.
Whatâs the other stuff?
1. Practice Gratitude
I never understood the power of this until I started practicing it. When you start appreciating people & things that happen to you, you are filled with less negativity. This is a very simple truth. Think about what made you smile the day before & try to hold onto that feeling. Every time you feel the sensation of a negative emotion, donât fight it but remind yourself about the bigger picture. There is so much good happening in your life on a daily basis.
2. Respect & Connect
Value people for who they are – not what they are or represent in society. Connect with everyone at the most basic level. My most interesting life experiences & ultimately stories always started with a mistake, an accident, a wrong turn, a delay or a missed train that helped me meet such amazing people & have unforgettable moments. Those moments do count & I look back on them so fondly.
3. Just Laugh
It may sound strange, but sometimes youâre in a situation that seems so bad, so impossible, and so messed up that all you can do is laugh! You might cry first, and thatâs okay as long as you laugh as well. I once unintentionally offended a well-known personality and it got blown completely out of proportion. Initially, I was pretty worried but then I realised, that hey, how many people can actually say they offended someone of such importance? Itâs an achievement Sonal, I told myself. And it made me laugh. Thankfully it was one of those instances that did get resolved, but whatâs more important is I laughed about it while I was in the thick of it. This also had the added benefit of helping me relax and think clearly â rather than get all worked up about what to do next.
Youâre going to be filled with negative emotions & thoughts which is natural. But how do you not let them get to you? Meditation isnât about controlling your mind itâs about accepting. Accept the thoughts that come to you. But also harness the power of letting them flow out of you.